Reclaiming Erotic Innocence and Embracing Creativity with Alara Sage

What if your sexual energy was the key to living an ecstatic, vibrant life? This episode of Life of Love promises to transform your understanding of joy and pleasure as we welcome Alara Sage, an intuitive mentor and womb shaman. Alara reveals the profound connection between sexual energy and daily bliss, emphasizing the importance of reclaiming innocence and shedding societal shame. Through her personal journey, she illustrates how awakening to our sexual energy can lead to a more fulfilling existence, urging us to embrace our innate power and vibrancy.

Healing sexual trauma is a challenging yet rewarding endeavor, and this episode doesn’t shy away from discussing it. We explore the complexities of embracing Tantra and sexual liberation when past traumas resurface. By recognizing these triggers and holding space for our inner child, we can transform vulnerability into strength and reclaim our innocence. Alara offers invaluable insights into how confronting and processing trauma can empower us to define our future on our own terms, highlighting the importance of showing up for ourselves with love and support.

Creativity is more than just a hobby; it's a fundamental aspect of our existence. This episode discusses the natural cycles of expansion and contraction in life, comparing them to creative processes. Alara emphasizes that everyone is inherently creative, and we explore practical methods for reconnecting with your inner self when inspiration wanes. The conversation also delves into integrating energetic shifts for personal growth and how engaging actively with life can enhance our creative endeavors. We wrap up with a heartfelt thanks to our listeners and encourage you to check out the Ecstatic Woman podcast for more enriching insights.

Chapters

• 0:14 Reclaiming Erotic Innocence
• 16:22 Healing Sexual Trauma and Reclaiming Innocence
• 27:10 Embracing Creativity for Personal Growth
• 33:33 Healing and Empowerment Through Conversation

Transcript

Alara Sage: 0:15

Hello, dear friends, and welcome to another episode of Life of Love, where we gather every week to discuss with curiosity what's on our hearts and living our best lives, and without shame, without any kind of holding back of our genuine emotions, our connection with everything that is for our soul's good. And so we're holding space for this, and this week is a wonderful opportunity to pick the brain of a woman who is, she's, dedicated to being ecstatic. Ecstatic, I'm like I say it wrong every time. Because I say it wrong every time because I say it wrong, ecstatic, I love it. So I'm just welcoming in a dear, dear soul, alara.

Alara Sage: 1:03

Alara Sage is an intuitive, gifted mentor, a womb shaman and a shot key activator. She coaches provocatively and soulfully, which is so exciting. Coaches provocatively and soulfully, which is so exciting. She helps people of all kinds, men and women, whatever you identify with heal their sexual trauma, reclaim their creative force and energy and create exactly what they desire. So what better way to live in magic than to be connected to that? So, really, alara, thank you for being here on Life of Love. I'm just delighted to host you today.

Julie Hilsen: 1:40

I'm so excited to be here, Julie, and to experience this aesthetic space with you.

Alara Sage: 1:49

Yes, oh my gosh, you're so awesome, because that was my first question what does that mean to you to live like that and just give us some insight as to how you came about that? Because it's just. I always think about divinity and living with you know you're cherished and you're divine and precious, but I love the charge of ecstatic.

Julie Hilsen: 2:39

Yeah, so ecstatic to me is really about being connected to our sexual power and our sexual energy, and it's living a life of pleasure you know, one of is sexual in Mother Gaia and in the universe. And when we live ecstatically, we are connected in with our bodies and we're connected in with the sense and the sensation of pleasure and aliveness that is available in every moment, and so we get to experience orgasm, full body orgasm, waves of bliss, you know, just in conversation, just in creating things that we enjoy, going on walks, like living that life in every moment, not just in the bedroom.

Alara Sage: 3:13

Taking in your environment, being open and available to the joy. That charge that yeah, I mean. A lot of times you look at certain things and you're like, yeah, that's sexual. But to have that the viewpoint, the perspective of everything being sexual, that is definitely charged, I love it. And then you can play with that energy when you have that kind of playfulness with your perspective, oh, I love it, I love it. So it was hilarious because I was playing with that energy when I was like I'm going to plug in my headphones because my headset wasn't working right and I'm like I'm just going all masculine, I'm just going to plug right in.

Alara Sage: 3:57

And now I'm laughing at myself because I was picking up on that with you. I just love that yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 4:04

Well, I mean, it's one of the reasons why I say that everything is sexual, because in ourselves we have our inner feminine and we have our inner masculine, and our inner masculine is the penetrative force. We are penetrating our physical reality with our action, with our energy. Every single time we have an action, even non-action, because that's a choice of non-action we are penetrating our physical reality in that action. And then the feminine is the receptive nature of our being receiving the penetration from the universe back. So that's what I mean when I say that everything is sexual. We are constantly penetrating and receiving, penetrating and receiving. And when you understand that, you can really kind of diagnose where your strengths are and where your weaknesses are and where you're not really penetrating from the intention of your heart, that strong heart's desire, with intentional penetration of the heart, and maybe you're not feeling safe to receive.

Alara Sage: 5:07

And it gives, oh, it's just such insight and like a lens to be like where am I? I can imagine that's a very awesome way to be conscious, to be conscious of your ecstaticness, Ecstaticness, oh, wow. So we wanted to dive in about the innocence and reclaiming that innocence, because that helps you come to every situation with gravity. You know like life gets heavy and we get these layers on, and so I think what we were going to try to illuminate is that shame, shame makes us lose our innocence. So would you want to go into that a little bit and shine some light on your work and your shaman work and having clients and just you know, let's look at that, Look at our loss of innocence and how to reclaim it.

Julie Hilsen: 6:13

Yes, again, it has a lot to do with our sexual energy. I mean, shame doesn't have to be sexual. But one of the ways that I really connected to this in myself was one day in meditation, my higher self was showing me how I was actually sexually lit at four years of age. And this is everybody. Now that didn't mean I wanted to go have sex right. That's not what I mean when I say sexually lit. My sexual energy turned on at four years of age and I'm not like that's not like just me, like that happens for everybody.

Julie Hilsen: 6:51

And in that space we are, you know, we don't understand what the act of sex is. We obviously don't have all of these programmings of what's appropriate or inappropriate or, you know, these religious structures and all of this nonsense. Quite frankly, that is wrapped in and integrated into our relationship with our sexual energy. And in that meditation my higher self just took me back to my four-year-old self. And it was so beautiful because I was just out in nature.

Julie Hilsen: 7:26

I spent a lot of time out in nature and I could feel everything. My body just felt everything. It felt the subtle breeze and that felt so good. It just lit up my pleasure body. You know, the sun shining on my face. I was walking barefoot, you know, and feeling that earth beneath my feet, and I was in this state of ecstatic pleasure, just totally lit up and, of course, innocent with it all, just communing with the mother, communing with nature, you know, communing with this just beautiful essence of myself, my body, my humanness and mother guy. And you know, then, after that, I was right around that time, actually, I was sexually abused and sexually abused several times throughout my life and, as well as you know, my parents felt that energy and it was like as like I'm a mother.

Julie Hilsen: 8:30

We hear about boys like playing with themselves and like, whoa, that's not okay, that's not appropriate, and our society immediately starts to shame this very innocent expression. And so right away I started to think, wow, like this, these sensations in my body, they're not okay, like there's something really wrong with them because, like I'm getting shut down right, they're not safe. And I started to shut them down. And then, you know, just progress throughout my life and in that meditation, really reclaiming that within myself and granting myself just my erotic innocence and that, you know, literally giving myself permission to again feel that in every single moment and every single circumstance to be lit, to be aroused, and redefining that that is truly innocent.

Alara Sage: 9:34

There's so much. There's so much there and I can totally relate to this because I remember being a little girl and you could feel like the pulse of the earth coming up through your body, like just being in nature, being. I was I. My memory, if I were going to go back to my inner child, four four-year-old, was like it was. I was in a bed of clover at my uncle's dairy farm. I was there for the weekend and I was just laying in a bed of clover watching the bees go in and out, not a care in the world. I could have been there for six hours. I don't know how long I was there, but it was just pure bliss and I could feel the heartbeat and I know what you're talking about.

Alara Sage: 10:19

It's like this energy, this, whatever society has labeled it, they're just trying to protect us. When they say, oh, shut up. You can't express like that. You know like the shame around it and it's misdirected and used to control. And so you know that's something to explore in your childhood when, when you, when you touched yourself in front of your parents or in the bathtub and they're like whoa, don't do that, that's, that's wrong, right, like that strong reaction is kids pick up on and then they're like, well, that's, that's not, that's not okay, because it's just like you touched a hot stove, right, but it was your body. And that's lack of embodiment when you're, when you're not allowed to associate with your body or or have you know the reassurance that it's. It might be a private time thing, but it's not bad, right, it's not shameful. So that's how the shame layers get built up. It's just an innocent exploration and then it's charged with something that is deemed as wrong.

Alara Sage: 11:45

Wrong is yeah, it's, it's because I can totally see where you know guardians or parents could be like, oh no, you don't want to, you don't want to show up in life like that. You know, like you can see it from both ways, and I don't know if you have kids, but, um, yeah, you worry. You worry about kids getting putting out the energy and then they might be targeted, or it's a touchy subject and it's such a powerful thing to access when you can look at it through your adult and we've talked about this topic when you have beliefs that you just accept things as a child as truth and then you have to go back and say does that fit me? Is that okay for me?

Alara Sage: 12:27

And this is another, this is another really powerful thing to look at, right, like, and you talk about how it's your source of wealth is your sexual energy, is your sexual energy? So, um, man, I'm sure there's a lot, there's a lot to do to heal that. And, um, what would you like to share? What's on your heart to share about reclaiming that sexual energy? And in getting beyond the shame, is it that you, you reframe it according to what, what serves you and what, what your ideal is or is, or is it a step-by-step, or how does that work when you're helping someone reclaim their innocence with that?

Julie Hilsen: 13:12

Yeah, it's not mental.

Alara Sage: 13:14

It's in the body.

Julie Hilsen: 13:15

It's in the body and you know our body has all the information on, all the wisdom and you know all of our trauma and our ancestral energy, past life energy, is held in the body self. And to start to breathe into your body, you know holding your awareness at your sexual organs and you know I do a lot of work with both women and men in what I call de-armoring and de-armoring, because it's amazing when you really start to do this work, you see how much you hold in your sexual organs and how much protection you're holding there. And you know that kind of protection is is there? It's walls, right, it's building these, these layers upon us and we do that in our sexual energy. We also do that in our heart. You know, protect your heart and it doesn't work for one and two, it it totally shuts you down. It's like building a fortress around you and wonderful, now you're in a fortress but you're all alone, uh, and you can't experience anything because now you're stuck in the fortress that you built around yourself. Experience anything because now you're stuck in the fortress that you built around yourself. And that is what these walls do. They don't protect us, they detach us, disconnect us ultimately from ourself and from our innocence and from our divinity and our pleasure and our bliss and the sensations of all. You know all the different experiences that you have as humanity.

Julie Hilsen: 15:04

So I teach people to breathe into their bodies, to bring their awareness there. And, you know, learn to work with your body because, again, your body will tell you everything I teach. I'm a big empowerment person. You know, like I don't want any of my clients to just be like, oh, I need to keep having sessions with you, like, no, I'm going to teach you how to do it yourself, because, ultimately, like, that's what we want, right? We want humans that know how to be embodied and connected and in communion with the self. Embodied and connected and in communion with the self. So, learning how to breathe into your body and be aware of those walls, be aware of the triggers, you know, like, for instance, if people are listening to this and they're feeling uncomfortable, if they're feeling awkward, if they're kind of like you know even the comment like that's a touchy subject, is it? No, it's just because we're defining it as touchy.

Julie Hilsen: 16:06

I don't believe that we need to not talk about this stuff. I don't believe that we need to protect our children.

Alara Sage: 16:18

I believe that we need to empower our children, which is two different things, right.

Julie Hilsen: 16:20

So noticing, yeah, Are you triggered when you like? For me, when I was really going through this process with myself, like Tantra was like a push pull for me, Like I had this pull towards it and simultaneously I was just kind of like I don't know, it's just, it's like I just.

Julie Hilsen: 16:36

I just want to push that away. You know I don't want to have anything to do with it and it was a trigger for me, and conversations about sexual liberation and exploration were a trigger for me. So those are always showing us where are you holding the shame?

Alara Sage: 16:56

Yeah, it's really interesting because the most, like you said, the level of discomfort tells you where you need to push into.

Julie Hilsen: 17:07

Yes.

Alara Sage: 17:08

And you're like, damn, it really Not again. Why can't just something be easy? No, you've got to push through it to get beyond it. So many things. And so, yeah, that resonates with me so much. And so, yeah, that resonates with me so much. And so, feeling it, not knowing how to use it, or just the social programming, I love that. So, man, I'm just processing so much because I had to reclaim that, because you put it as something that's outside of you and then you're protecting yourself because it's a protective mechanism to be like, well, that's over here and my body's over here.

Alara Sage: 18:23

And when you insulate or try to protect yourself against something that you know, maybe you have no idea what was going through that person's mind. And it happens. There's so many people that it's happened to that. You know there's different philosophies and I dealt with it with my being present and owning my sexuality, and I almost came to the point where I was like I'm sort of glad that happened, because it really made me look at it and I don't take it for granted. Like when I took ownership of it, I was like, wow, this is really good, powerful, wonderful things, and I might not have really seen it as that precious if it hadn't happened.

Alara Sage: 19:16

I don't know. I don't know. I know that I don't take anything back. Everything makes me stronger. I don't take anything back. Everything makes me stronger and I hope that anyone that's listening who might be dealing with any kind of you know sexual abuse.

Alara Sage: 19:31

You know if you're really having trouble, you know get a counselor. You know you got to talk about it, you got to get through it and then someone like Alara help you reconnect to your innocence and your divinity, because you know you didn't choose to get that taken away. But you can choose how you're going to use it to move beyond it. So it's not life gives you things and you can rise above and figure out how you're going to weave it into your story and make yourself stronger, or you can become a victim to it. It's like anything you know someone pushes you down at the bus stop or you know someone cuts you off. You can choose to be a victim and be upset, or you can just be like well, that person just made a bad choice and that doesn't make me a person. That's a victim, you know so.

Julie Hilsen: 20:21

Yeah, and you know, like again, this is something that I feel like humanity loves to pussyfoot around. And you know, the truth is is that when we really face our trauma and acknowledge that, that doesn't define us, because sexual trauma is intense, it is the most vulnerable state of you. It hits you in that most vulnerable act, your most vulnerable part of your body, it hits you at your vulnerability and so that's why we tend to like I mean, I shut mine out of my awareness to the point that I didn't even remember it.

Julie Hilsen: 20:57

Right, Because it was so traumatic to the little version of me. But this is why we tend to pussyfoot around. It is because, yeah, it hits us in our vulnerability and, simultaneously, when we learn to acknowledge that that doesn't define me and I'm not wrong or unworthy or shameful for the fact that it happened to me, and I can process it through my body and release it and let it go.

Julie Hilsen: 21:26

What we learn is how powerful we truly are, because nothing, even the thing that hits us in our most vulnerable innocent space, gets to define us right, gets to have power over us, gets to shut us down from our ecstatic bliss. That's where I say no, like. Let's have these conversations. Let's show up for the little version of us that got sexually molested, or even like the teenage or the early 20 version of us that was raped, you know, and show up and claim this trauma in our body, move it through, so that we can hold that power that we are in our bodies.

Alara Sage: 22:09

Amen, that's where it is. That's where it is. Just speak it like it is, make it real.

Julie Hilsen: 22:17

Yeah.

Alara Sage: 22:18

You know, yes, hold space, hold space, for that was a shitty thing. But it doesn't like you said, it doesn't define you yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 22:28

And then that then that little child within us feels safe again to come out. You know, because we're saying I'm here, I'm showing up for you, like I got your back. Because in that time, you know, most of this happened when we're children, even those who it happened later in life. They've usually had something earlier on that they don't remember. And so you know, when we were children we didn't get to have our own backs.

Julie Hilsen: 22:58

And when we go through that process of healing that in our body, that's where we're showing up for that little child and saying I got you, you're safe. Like I will not allow this to happen to you again. And that's where that innocence now, in that essence of safety, of support, of love, of not turning our backs and saying I don't want to look at this because it's so painful, right, I don't want to look at this trauma because it defines me or it's difficult to talk about, like we turn towards and we say no, I'm here for you, inner child, I will not desert you, I will not abandon you, I will not turn my back on you. Because so many of us didn't have any kind of support like that. We weren't spoken to, we weren't allowed to express. That's when the inner child feels safe and that innocence, that playfulness comes back out in ourselves, like the amount of playfulness I have reclaimed.

Julie Hilsen: 24:01

I was anal AF because I was so shut down. I didn't want to be anal, it was just who I was, because I didn't know how to be my like silly, quirky self. I remember one time I had this astrology reading and the astrology was like you're so quirky and I was just like what are you talking?

Alara Sage: 24:21

about? No, I'm not.

Julie Hilsen: 24:22

And now I'm just like I'm so quirky and silly and goofy and dorky and all the things, because my child is like, yes, let's play, let's have fun, like screw this adulting.

Alara Sage: 24:35

Right, I hear you so strong, laura, because I've been having conversations with my inner child a lot lately.

Julie Hilsen: 24:45

And I'm like.

Alara Sage: 24:45

Julie, you know this is bullshit. We're just gonna. We're just gonna dance and we're gonna, you know, like this adult stuff and I did. I used, I used to be hyper vigilant so I can control the room, control everyone around me. I don't know how my husband put up with me. Honestly. Me, I don't know how my husband put up with me honestly, because this came out after.

Alara Sage: 25:09

You know, I was like in my 30s before I started looking at this stuff and questioning like why I was doing things, because I didn't want to be like that mom that was just uptight about everything and I didn't want to have deep wrinkles in my face from being critical. You know what I mean. Like, I'm like, I am not going to do this Like and some my soul. I don't know what happened, but yeah, so I have conversations with my inner child all the time. I'm like, julie, you know, this is what we're going to do and this is why and it is so much more fun and it's just, it just makes everything lighter. You don't have to be responsible for everything.

Julie Hilsen: 25:44

Yeah, yes, yes. And imagine if, like everybody, was just in their inner child, right, like how playful humanity would be, you know, and yes, we need to do and we need to create, because that's the feminine and the masculine and ultimately it's a Trinity and we don't't need all three and that inner child is just really missing in the majority of us and that innocence that really comes through the reclamation and the transcendence of that shame. And we're talking about sexual energy, but shame doesn't have to be sexual. It can happen in a variety of different ways, but I will say that shame is held in the sexual energy and in the pelvis, even if you weren't shamed for that. So it's very intriguing because it really comes into our creative power and our ability to create our life. That's where we feel like we're not worthy, like what we create is just inadequate and kind of falls short. And, as you brought up earlier, it comes into our relationship with money, with wealth, and also our relationship with power.

Alara Sage: 26:57

Yeah, nothing's an island. Everything affects everything else. So it's worth looking at people. It's uncomfortable, but it's worth looking at people. It's uncomfortable but it's worth looking at. And it's just more fun when you can get there. And I notice, when I'm feeling heavy and I'm having those days, they don't last as long because I can reconnect, which you know, like some days are just not great days, and that's the ebb and flow, that's the perpetual constriction. Expansion. That's Mother Earth, that's our universe. Well, our universe is constantly expanding. I mean, I was just learning about this.

Alara Sage: 27:35

Our universe is bigger every day until it's just gone, and then it'll start all over with a new Big Bang. I was just listening to this Conversations with God audio book and I was just like I'm in the second book and I'm like whoa, you know, that's why time is so relative to the size of the universe and we can get really deep in that, yeah, but it's still expanding and contracting, because then it then it expands until it totally contracts back into the void and then it comes back out again.

Julie Hilsen: 28:08

so it's expansion contraction is just on a much larger scale, uh, than, like you know, the ebb and flow of the tides and our breath and all those like micro versions of that ebb and flow expansion contraction.

Alara Sage: 28:29

Well, I love this because the next thing I want to talk about is creativity. And how was I going to? I was going to. Why should we care about being creative? Was I was going to ask you, and you just sort of touched on it with the. You know the, you know the. You know when you're contracting in your labor. You know when you're giving birth. You know these contractions, they hurt and they're, you know it's intense, but then you know you're, this creation of love comes through of, of your joining. And so, yeah, what, what's your take on? You know why is it worth it to go there and be creative?

Julie Hilsen: 29:08

We are creative full stop. We are creators. We're creating every single moment. We're creating with every single action, every single thought, every single decision. So it's less a question of why is it worth it to go into your creative self versus do you desire to consciously create your reality or just splatter the paint all over the canvas of your life and kind of just see how it goes?

Alara Sage: 29:37

I love how you just put that. That's not an option, so it's worth it, don't? I mean? People are like oh, I'm not, I'm not artsy, I'm not creative. Yes, you are, it's just what you're choosing.

Julie Hilsen: 29:51

Yeah, and I used to think that too, which is ironic, because when I was a child, I was very creative. I would write short stories that just streamed out of nowhere and I did a lot of coloring and art and things like that. And then I shut it all down with my sexual energy, cause guess what? Your sexual energy is your creative energy, and so is your Kundalini Shakti, and for the longest time I just thought I'm just not creative. And you know, through this process of opening myself back up, I've gone into those creative ventures again of writing and painting, and that's not for everybody.

Julie Hilsen: 30:25

You know other people's versions of creating. Some people you know create Excel spreadsheets and you know they're formulating how numbers work together right, that's creation. Other people create gardens right, like creation is everything. So I think when we think of creative, we think just of artsy. But if you really just open up and ask yourself, what do I create? What's fun for me to create? Maybe you create experiences. Maybe you really love hosting dinners, right, and you create that experience for other people to come into. So it's more like expanding on our very limited perspective of what creativity is and really finding our unique genius within the creative energy that we already Love it, I love it, it's so perfect.

Alara Sage: 31:22

And if you're feeling lack of juice behind what you're doing, then there's a big sign right, like, take some time to just be with yourself. You know, have some time to you know people. The easy default is meditate, but maybe it's just spending time outside and feeling the breeze, just connecting with your body in whatever way. Maybe it's a bath or a shower where you're just shutting off everything because, in order to create, you got to turn off the noise. The noise is constantly coming at you, the static. So that's, it's a huge flag. If you're like well, I can't even think of an original thing. Well, self-care, get there, get to some place where you can clear it out, do a mental dump.

Alara Sage: 32:14

You know like it's very, it's very essential and all these solar flares and the energetics that are coming in, we're recording and this is going to be published about a month later. But I'm sure there's going to be some internet outages and everything's just a little bit chaotic right now, but we're getting through and it's upgrading us, it's making things happen so much faster and it's a gift to integrate these energies. And so, you know, ride the wave, come on, it's going to be really great. Don't fight it. You know so we're. Oh, I also wanted to let everyone know that Elena has her own podcast, the Ecstatic Woman podcast, and so if you want to tune in to more of this message, she's there, she's on all the major platforms and check her podcast out. And so if you want to tune into more of this message, she's there, she's on all the major platforms and check, check her podcast out and then any other. We're coming up to our time, so is there anything else, Alara, that you'd like to to share with the audience?

Julie Hilsen: 33:17

No, I mean, ultimately I just want to really thank the audience for listening and, you know, even just having the courage to listen to these kinds of conversations, it takes courage, and I really honor those who are listening to this, who really showed up and could receive this conversation. Because, you know, I do teach provocatively, I bring it in and I talk straight to the wounds, and so thank you for receiving that into your being.

Alara Sage: 33:47

Thank you, it was a blessing and you know I always tell people if it doesn't serve you, then leave it and take what serves and leave what doesn't. So it's all good and I respect wherever you are on the path. But, yes, thank you, thank you for listening. And, alara, your contribution is amazing and you're healing these mother wounds so that we can show up as the god and goddesses that we are. And you know it's our birthright and we're beings of light. So I'm just really excited to help anyone shine. And you know we'll just get the polish out and clean out those cobwebs. We can all just walk around like we're on meds, like people are like well, what are you on? I'm like I'm on life. So it makes some people angry, but I get it, it's all good. Well, laura, thanks again. I really appreciate this.

Julie Hilsen: 34:45

Thank you so much for having me again.

Alara Sage: 34:47

Julie, and thank you again to your audience. It was a lot of fun.