The Power of a 20-Second Hug: Authenticity, Boundaries & Heart-Led Living

In this heart-forward episode, Julie sits down with author and “rebel hugger” Melinda Lee Schmitt to explore the healing power of hugs, courageous boundaries, and how to follow your inner rebel—that calm, authentic voice inside that guides you toward truth. We talk about practicing 20-second hugs, reading energy and consent, loving ourselves first, and the surprising path that led Melinda to serve as a church “vibe keeper.” If you’ve been craving deeper connection without abandoning your own needs, this one’s for you. 💗

👉 If this served you, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who needs a little courage and a big hug today.

Melina's book on Amazon through a link in which I get a small commission https://a.co/d/4LhT9Sb as an Amazon Associate.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & intention 🙏
• 2:05 Meet Melinda Lee Schmitt: the “rebel hugger” 🤗
• 3:10 Origin story: A “Year of Hugs” in Raleigh 💞
• 6:47 Cross-country hugging: 1 month on the road 🚗
• 8:36 Trusting the route & finding hosts along the way 🗺️
• 10:48 Reading energy & consent: every hug is different 🧭
• 12:42 Why 20-second hugs shift your chemistry 🧠
• 14:36 Hearts synchronizing: beyond labels, into oneness ✨
• 16:36 Connection during COVID: cameras on, hearts open 💻
• 19:31 Courage & calling: choosing vulnerability daily 💪
• 22:44 “Inner rebel” guidance and the blog-to-hugs nudge 🔔
• 24:49 HUG (the children’s book) + playful side notes 🐒
• 25:58 Boundary lesson: when kindness needs a line 🚧
• 30:21 Loving yourself first so you can love others better 💗
• 32:59 Becoming a church “vibe keeper” & belonging 🕊️
• 33:19 Quote: “Your inner rebel is a compass, not a troublemaker.” 🧭
• 36:25 Hand-to-heart practice: remember who you are ❤️
• 36:29 The rebel move of not participating in drama 🧘‍♀️
• 38:28 Closing blessing & amplification for all who need it 🌟

Transcript

Julie Hilsen: 0:06

Hello dear friends and welcome to Life of Love where we gather each week to explore

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 2:02

So it is. Beautiful intention. ⁓

Julie Hilsen: 2:05

Thank you. So guys, this is exciting. I have a fellow hugger on the show. Anyone who

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 2:57

Thank you so much for having me here, Julie. I'm so happy to be here and I'm excited

Julie Hilsen: 3:05

Yeah.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 3:10

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 5:04

So how did you connect with the people you were gonna spend time with?

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 5:08

It was really about... It started with knowing that the thing that brought us together

Julie Hilsen: 5:42

Okay.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 6:03

And I let kind of like you do with this podcast, the conversations just be as organic

Julie Hilsen: 6:38

Wow. So I bet, and how long did it take you for that? I'm just curious how, cause I

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 6:47

It was a month.

Julie Hilsen: 7:40

And so you would drive to the next place where you had like a confirmation. Is that how

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 7:46

Yeah. Yes. And there

Julie Hilsen: 8:36

And you were by yourself. didn't bring your dog or... Oh, yeah, I bet you listen to a

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 8:40

by myself. It was great. I loved it.

Julie Hilsen: 9:11

And

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 9:19

Not on the cross country trip, just because

Julie Hilsen: 9:24

Okay. I think is that awkward?

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 9:48

So I was kind of surprised. I actually expected more than that because it's weird and

Julie Hilsen: 10:05

good. hmm.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 10:48

No, it's definitely more of a read the energy. I'm a very sensitive person, so I pick

Julie Hilsen: 11:04

Well, so you weren't into Reiki or any of this.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 11:09

That's just a very natural state of being for me is being really sensitive like that.

Julie Hilsen: 12:10

you

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 12:29

and she went in and she went in for the full hug. And by the time I pulled away, she

Julie Hilsen: 12:41

⁓ this beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah, because you can and then at the length of the

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 12:42

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 13:59

Yeah, because you're being held, you're being seen, and you're in that moment of the

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 14:01

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 14:07

It's a it's a very divine gesture. Wow. No man, no wonder you became a lot more aware

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 14:35

Yeah,

Julie Hilsen: 14:59

I love that. you, and this is a little bit of a squirrel comment, but I've noticed like

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 15:11

Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen: 15:13

You know what I'm talking about? I think

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 15:29

haven't noticed that in particular with my boys. I mean, my boys were one in four when

Julie Hilsen: 16:33

Mm-hmm. And they say your hands go to your heart. That meridian. I love that. So

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 16:36

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 17:59

I love that. I love that you have that insight because you've spent so much time in the

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 18:10

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 18:32

I get curious. So I like that. And I did, I did. That's how I got through COVID was

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 18:30

Yeah, right. Exactly.

Julie Hilsen: 18:51

right, it gives us, we did learn a lot about how we're going to spend our time and

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 19:03

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 19:15

I try to send them love because to me that's being scared and they're shut off and they

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 19:31

Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen: 20:53

I couldn't agree more. Revolutionary is a great word for it. And I often think about,

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 21:10

Yeah,

Julie Hilsen: 22:10

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's powerful. And yeah, well, in, right, the boundaries too.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 22:16

It's powerful and hard. It's not easy.

Julie Hilsen: 22:22

you had a deeper calling was it was did you pray and God said you need to hug or was

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 22:44

It honestly, it came because I had been talking again, back when my husband and I were

Julie Hilsen: 23:37

Hehehehe. Hehehehe.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 24:04

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 24:19

Yeah, I

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 24:22

⁓

Julie Hilsen: 24:49

monkey hug. I saved it.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 24:50

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 24:51

And then how did you, did anyone ever take advantage and try to like make the hug

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 24:58

Yes. Yes. Yes. And there was one moment where, there was one moment in particular that

Julie Hilsen: 24:59

So you had to set boundaries.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 25:21

do the right thing, especially as women, I had a tendency to people please as it was to

Julie Hilsen: 26:31

Mm, yes. Mm-hmm.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 26:40

And so ⁓ it was actually a really good lesson for me. And I did have a coach that I

Julie Hilsen: 27:25

Mm-hmm. yeah.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 27:34

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen: 27:59

my mom letting strange men hold me in their lap. I was like, I look back at it now I'm

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 28:09

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 28:27

It's something that needs to be heard and then also parents need to know, you know,

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 28:32

it's okay that your kid

Julie Hilsen: 28:36

Yeah.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 28:43

Yeah, yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 29:05

But I didn't I didn't say no, I just started bawling like my I didn't even

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 29:07

So funny. Right. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 29:10

have the word no, I was just like, this early everything in my being was like, this man

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 29:16

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 29:34

You're worthy because you're worthy, not because you made someone feel better. If you

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 29:45

Yep. And that's

Julie Hilsen: 30:21

Nice. And is that is did that segue into your position now and what you're you were

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 30:22

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 32:59

congratulations. You needed that fortification. Like that's really, really important.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 33:00

Thanks. Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 33:19

you know, that that's a good one. Because so many times we're like, I don't want to

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 33:47

So for me, feel like our, I call her the inner rebel, but really she is my inner being.

Julie Hilsen: 35:29

Bye.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 35:56

Yep.

Julie Hilsen: 36:07

I'm not participating. And that's a rebel move.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 36:08

Yeah. Yeah. And that can be the most powerful thing.

Julie Hilsen: 36:19

Well, this has been so delightful and I'm really happy what came forward today

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 36:25

One of the things that I love sharing is when we are following our inner rebel, our

Julie Hilsen: 37:33

And I would love to, if you're okay, I'd like to emphasize that because it's so

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 37:45

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Julie Hilsen: 38:01

our authentic signature. So I am 100, 200 million times percent supporting your mission

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 38:26

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen: 38:28

and amplifying. Dear Holy Spirit, please amplify that for everyone to hear it that

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 38:35

Yes.

Julie Hilsen: 38:37

So it is.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 38:38

So it is.

Julie Hilsen: 38:41

Thank you so much. It's been so fun. Thank you.

Melinda Lee Schmitt: 38:44

Thank