Life of Love with Julie Hilsen

Reframe Trauma to Jump to Your Highest Expression

• Julie Hilsen • Season 3 • Episode 39

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✨ What if you could rewrite your inner script… and step into the timeline where you are confident, fearless, and fully expressed?
In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Albert Bramante— psychologist, hypnotherapist, professor, talent agent, and intuitive coach — shares the exact tools he uses to help people break cycles of trauma, conquer self-doubt, and jump timelines into success, alignment, and joy.

We talk about:
 💫 The real reason people repeat patterns
 💫 How “resetting” your mind is like rebooting a computer
 💫 Why fear is false evidence appearing real
💫 How to spot generational trauma
💫 Turning stage fright into excitement
💫 Reframing the past so it no longer owns your future
💫 How men and women experience trauma differently
💫 Why forgiveness frees you (not the other person!)
💫 The magic that happens when you finally say “NO” without guilt
💫 How to embody confidence and OWN the room

This episode is deep, liberating, and full of practical magic.
Your heart is going to expand. Your courage is going to awaken.
And you will walk away knowing: you are not a victim — you are a creator.

http://www.albertbramante.com/

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Julie's Website for more information, comments or requests: https://lifeofloveandjoy.com
I receive a small commission when you purchase from these links.

Julie Hilsen (00:06)
Hello, dear friends and welcome to Life of Love where we gather each week and we cherish each other's company because we're here in connection to be curious about what a life of love looks like and it's different every day. So we honor the bumps, we honor the smooth sailing days and cherish our lives because they're a gift. So I have such gratitude for you tuning in and sharing these episodes. I'm just so thankful and I'm applauding you for

carving out this time and putting forth an intention of exploring life of love and also giving me the honor of having your ears and your eyes if you're watching on YouTube. So thank you, thank you. We're gonna start with our intention and get it grounded here. So if you have the ability and you can close your eyes, go ahead. But if you're driving, please stay connected to your road. I'm just gonna get centered in my heart and put my feet on the ground and connect to my breath.

Albert (00:52)
you

Julie Hilsen (01:03)
Dear God, thank you for this day, creator. Thank you for bringing me the resources to produce this episode and this wonderful soul. Albert has joined us. I honor his team and his guides and I ask our teams to collaborate as they see fit to bring forth a message for the highest good. Ooh, it's sparkly in there. I close my eyes and I'm seeing sparkles. So that's always fun.

Albert (01:27)
Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen (01:31)
So yeah, we're just, we're holding space for this creation, for bringing forth this message because being confident and embracing your divinity is part of our signature. Everyone has a unique signature and we're adding to this grid of light around the earth, around the creation. We're all divine beings. So being in your highest expression,

helps the whole world be of more light and love and harmony, harmony, grace, balance. This is what's all happening right now and I can feel it. It's been a major shift this week. So I'm so excited to bring forth this message and give people permission. So our intention is to bring forth this message to help everyone illuminate their special light and honor each person's light because everyone is a divine.

collaborator. And so we are holding space for this connection. We're holding space for the hearts which would that wish to soften to these messages, and the minds that might need to fall away and sink into the heart a little more. We're holding space for you or supporting you. And so with grace and love and clarity, and I asked the Holy Spirit to provide the intensity for the signal that needs to reach those ears and the hearts.

And I thank you. I thank you all my guides. I thank all Albert's team. And so it is. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So guys, what if you were fearless? You had no self doubt and you owned your success. Albert shares with us how he conquered self doubt and tapped into his authentic expression. So he's here to show and share his magic for living a life of love. Albert, thanks for being here.

Albert (03:16)
Thank you, Julie. Thanks so much for having me. I'm really happy to be here and happy to join everybody.

Julie Hilsen (03:23)
Yes, well, I'm just thrilled. you have your fingers in a lot of different areas, but I think the most palpable place to start to give people a little perspective is that you help people who face the most rejection out of any career, I think. I think it's probably the highest rejection career you can have is being an actor, right?

Albert (03:40)
yeah.

Yeah, and show business in general is one of the most challenging professions to be in. It's exciting and, you know, and it really is most of my clients or most of the actors that are doing this are really passionate about it. But the reality is that there is a lot of more no's than there are going to be yeses. I mean, that's the way that business works, sadly.

because it's an overly saturated market. You have New York where I'm near and my office is in New York and there's several hundred thousand actors in New York. And then you have Los Angeles, which is also even bigger than New York. And now in Georgia, you have Atlanta and the Southeast market, which is booming and you have thousands of actors out there. So there's a limited number of jobs in reality.

So one of the recent estimates for Screen Actors Guild, and this is just for union members, union actors only, that 97 % do not meet the minimum income threshold to qualify for health insurance within a union. Currently it's about $26,000 a year that you have to make some acting wages to get to qualify for health insurance for SAG-AFRA. And 97 % don't even meet that, which tells you that

It's a profession that is really tough to get into. So most, if not all actors need another job to help them sustain, know, like to get income. So many of my clients, you know, work in catering, they work in real estate, they'll do some teach, a lot teach, a lot go into consulting. And some aspect, just so they can subsidize, you know, their acting, their acting, you know, lifestyle because

Living in these cities is not cheap either, especially in New York is like astronomical to even think about living there. So there's a lot of other expenses there. So that's what makes it adds layer of difficulty there.

Julie Hilsen (05:41)
Mm.

Sure, I imagine. But that's one of it'd be one of those learned helplessness things I would imagine, because that's part of having success is owning that you earned it and that you deserve it. So maybe that many times when you fail, you're just expecting to fail. And so you might have this mentality of, well, it's not gonna get any better and you need to change your mindset. tell me how...

your hypnosis and your path of learning how to overcome this default of, I'm not good enough, I'm not gonna make it, or even to put yourself out as your authentic self. How did you learn how to meld your skills in psychology and these three main pillars that you're a triple thread in? So yeah, this is the uniqueness that you bring. So I'd love to highlight that.

Albert (06:34)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

well I never intended when I was younger never intended that I or thought I was gonna be in this business I always was intended to be a clinical psychologist and be a college professor Which is I'm a college professor now But I really thought that that was gonna be my only path was just I was gonna go straight up into psychology

You know, if you told me a few years prior to me graduating with my master's that had been in business, I would think that you were absurd. And I'll tell you a quick anecdote. I'm still a little skeptical, but when I was younger, this is when I was in grad school, I went with a friend to a psychic.

I was a little skeptical. wanted to sit there and one of the questions I asked her was, you know, where do you see me working in, you know, 10, 20 years? And without blinking, she said, I see you working in show business. And I laughed. And I remember walking out of that, like this was really show business. It wasn't really until like, you know, five years later that that started to materialize. But at that time I was like,

This is a waste of my time, waste of my 25 hours. And I was really mad at myself for spending, you know, thinking that, like, okay. So now I remember kind of like, because I went with a friend and I was just tapping a look at an old picture of that friend who I had seen for many years. And my hair stood up because now I remember that incident. I was like, whoa. But I never would have thought that.

That's the whole gist of this. I never would have intended that. But I always had an interest in the arts and acting. In high school, I in a drama club. I mean, was one of those kids that was very involved in school, both high school and college. A lot of clubs, a lot of organizations. One of them in high school was a drama club for three years. And then I was also in college, I took some intro to theater and acting with one.

and two as electives and I really enjoyed it. It was fun. But that's all looked at. This is fun because I had to take some credits for electives. So I was like, okay. And I dismissed it. Well, that was fun. But one thing that really stood with me, both high school and college, not so much the acting side. What I really felt was like, camaraderie with the acting students, my fellow students.

Julie Hilsen (08:59)
It's a hobby. It's like a diversion. Yeah.

Albert (09:21)
And even in the drama club, really felt like these groups saw me and felt seen and heard and validated. And, you know, I never really got it, but I was like, I didn't think anything of it. My last semester in grad school, wound up, you know, had done an internship where I made a contact who had kind of introduced me to a lot of other filmmakers and producers. You know, sadly, after

you know, the disinternship 9-11 had happened. And, you know, me being really close, I wanted to do something. was like, you know, I wasn't working at the time. was just graduating my master's degree. I wanted to be useful. So my contact had called me up and said, hey, we need, you know, we're assembling a team of volunteers to provide crisis intervention and counseling. And amongst all of those teams were actors, filmmakers, producers, and

A lot of them were like, oh, you should audition for my film. was like, well, all right. I took some acting in college. I did it, you know, and it was fun. I was like, well, you know, I'm in New York. Why not give this acting thing a try? So like most agents and casting directors and people that work in the industry, we all started out as performers. Most of us did. And I realized it wasn't for me, you know, performing and I didn't give it enough time.

And frankly, I wasn't that trained enough to do it, but what I realized is how much I liked being around actors. And it reminded me back from the earlier days. So was like, okay, I want to do something with this. I really feel like this is my calling. And so 2004, after some soul searching, said, I'm going to open up my first talent agency.

And so I did, I leaked, I did the leap of faith and I became an entrepreneur right away. And I say leap of faith because most people on this path, like I would say 95 % of all talent representatives start the conventional way, which is you intern at a bigger agency. You work for several years as a junior agent or junior rep, and then you get promoted to the ranks.

I've learned a lot of lessons and I believe it was I was my destiny to try it this way and to do it this way Because at least I get decided to my life you know, if you think about it so now how does this world combine now to answer your question about It's all coming together because right going this time when I started the company I was teaching and then I said, you know on my head even more to my plate Let me go back for my PhD

Julie Hilsen (11:59)
Yeah, like you're not busy enough.

Albert (12:01)
Yeah, no, not

of course not. But I, I, it was always my, since I was like a junior in high school, my goal was to be a PhD. And to get a PhD, to be doctor, you know, just at least not doctorate of Ramonte by my name. So I was like, you know, I'm halfway there. And if I don't do it now, I'm never gonna do it. Yeah, I was still in my late 20s at the time. Let me do it. And so I enrolled.

Julie Hilsen (12:26)
you

Albert (12:29)
And I enrolled in an online university, Walden University. And just for anybody listening, online education is not easier, if anyone thinks that. It's actually, I think, even more demanding and tougher because there's no accountability that you have to really be disciplined to do an online degree or online learning. So I did that. And while the coursework was great, now I'm a book nerd.

And I love, I'm a thinker. So for me, research papers was like fun. You know, I could do them in my sleep, you know, sleep. I could crank out a 25 or 30 page research paper. And this was before we had AI, you know, so I'd do it all from scratch. But I could crank out a 25 or 30 page research paper in three days. You know, and it was, it was a skill. It was like a real skill that I had.

Julie Hilsen (13:10)
Right, right. This is, yeah.

Albert (13:21)
And they were better, you know, not to do my own horn. I was getting some good grades on them, too. So, so anyway, it came down from it to start planning our dissertation. Now, this is a bane of most PhDs is not the coursework was a brief. Brief. This was not, you know, and this is what really makes I believe this is what makes a PhD distinguished degree is not the coursework.

Julie Hilsen (13:21)
And that's before Grammarly.

Yeah.

Albert (13:49)
it's the dissertation. we had to come up with an original problem to spend a lot of time solving. And so one of the things I was noticing with the actors I was working with were many of them were self-sabotaging, like shooting themselves in the foot. I was like, okay, well this relates to psychology at some level. So I remember when we had our first meeting to pitch our ideas for the dissertation, I said, and I just...

really kind of improv- improv in here. I was like, well here, um, I have- this is going on, this is what I do, I want to know why these actors don't sabotage. And I remember my- I- I- I- never thought this might- the committee of my university, it was, uh, I was in front of and said, this is a great idea. And I went, okay, say no more. And so, this was a- I guess the first way to bring two of my worlds together.

and know psychology with with the love of acting. So that started that. Now also while I was knee deep in clinical psychology because that was what I initially enrolled in. I was accepted to PhD program in clinical psychology. I did all my coursework. So I'm a clinical psychologist by training. Now I love the field. I think it's so important. I think it does great work. But there are there's one thing that was not aligning with me.

you know, then many years of doing this, of studying this, of why people were taking so long to be in therapy, eight, nine, 10 years, and making very little progress. And, or some people were saying like therapy was kind of a life sentence and it just didn't sit well with me. When I was going for my master's degree, I specialized in marriage and family therapy. And during that time, we learned solution focus short.

Julie Hilsen (15:20)
you

Albert (15:38)
term therapy because that's what really matters to family gals. Like yeah, it's a solution to focus in short term. And that resonated much more to me. While I was reading an article in Psychology Today magazine and there was a cutout in a class of my dad about, you know, take a video class or an hypnosis. And I was always interested in hypnosis. From at least a brief thing that I was exposed to in school, in grad school with it.

Okay, well, let me take this video course. I was like, well, this is interesting. And one of the things that I became really interested in, which kind of maybe a bit conflict with clinical psychology was past life regression work. So I was like, okay. And I saw that, you know, in New York where it was based, that they were doing a three day seminar on past life regression certification to be facilitator.

So I signed up for it with no really, I mean, I had the basic hypnosis training from the video, but I'd never really, video series didn't really know, you know, full on hypnosis. And I really enjoyed this three day seminar. And then I did an advanced two day follow up by part two, like several months later. And then I thought to myself, I'm like, well, if I'm going to do this type of work, I should get certified in hypnotherapy, you know, general hypnotherapy. So that same school I enrolled in.

a three month, 160 hour, know, trans-personal therapy program. And this was in 2011. And I was like, this makes a hundred more sense, percent more sense in psychology. Cause it's short-term, it's about getting people, you know, from, you know, needing help to be able to help themselves, empowering people to help themselves. And I was like, okay, this is what I want to do. So I immediately said,

You know, this is I read I'd rather do this in clinical psychology or at least some type of coaching at that time I didn't know what I was still gonna do yet Now I'm gonna add even more my plate now. I got hired full-time to teach where I was teaching at, you know that the You know in New Jersey Community College now when you teach full-time Your job is much more demanding.

Julie Hilsen (17:40)
Thank

Albert (17:55)
So now I have all three worlds coming together. And the way I kind of look at it now, because I did further refinement on this, is I use more in my coaching than I or my

you know, talking to people and conversation than a traditional hypnotherapist does. You know, I mean, sure, I can definitely do traditional hypnosis, but I like to integrate it in my coaching, you know, and that's where the sort of NLP as well.

Julie Hilsen (18:21)
and

Wow. So when you're working with someone, do you start with a hypnosis or do you have a conversation? say, what are your biggest challenges? mean, is it that people know what they're... Yeah.

Albert (18:33)
Yeah, mean, most of it's

having a conversation. know, figuring out where they are at, what are their challenges, what are their limiting beliefs, and then go from there. Now, as an agent, traditional agent, which I still am now, and I've been doing this for 21 years now, unless an actor really is asking for help, I don't...

Julie Hilsen (18:38)
Mm-hmm.

Albert (18:57)
I'm always a big respecter of boundaries and ethics. So, I'm not gonna do that unless they ask for any type of coaching, mindset coaching, unless they really are asking for it. But sometimes, they're lamenting about their career, I can certainly start to point out and say, you see maybe the pattern of you getting in your own way here. Do you see how this may be happening here? Did you ever notice this?

I ask it in questions rather than being prescribing mode because one of the things that I always felt like a good coach or good practitioner does is we help people get to their own solutions themselves. So a lot of times it's about asking sometimes the right questions to get them the wheels to start turning so that

Rather than, and I guess that might be maybe my rebellion towards a clinical authoritarian approach for more of a, you know, more of a warm, authoritative approach where it's like, okay, I can point you in this direction, but it's gonna be much more powerful when you start to arrive to those inside yourself.

Julie Hilsen (20:09)
Yeah, I can see that because you're empowering that person to find his or her answers versus the God complex or I'm going to tell you I'm going to write this script and I'm here for, you know, that model is falling away because no one can know exactly.

Albert (20:14)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, and

nobody knows, I mean, the whole thing, plus I think of human nature, we're not really meant, we're meant to be kind of free spirited. That's why, you know, if you corner us too much, we're going to rebel. And what gets really exciting about this work is sometimes when you watch people actually start coaching themselves and I'm like, this is, this is, I'm just going to sit and observe now because now it's like, okay, they're actually, you know, empowered now to help themselves.

Julie Hilsen (20:34)
Hmm.

Albert (20:54)
And ultimately, you know, that's, I'm not looking for a lifetime customer. I'm not looking for our life, you know, someone who's going to be, you know, we want people in our field to be able to get up and get out and not need us anymore. And that's whole thing, you know, because we know then as you know, with social proof, we're going to get more referrals and more people are going to come to us if we help them. And so we're going to get more visits that went on.

Julie Hilsen (21:20)
And it feels good to see

someone fly, right? It's like, just jump on.

Albert (21:23)
It really does. It's so rewarding.

It actually feels good when somebody says, and it may sound kind of productive, or counterintuitive, but it sounds good when somebody says, don't really need you anymore. I can do this myself. Wonderful. Spread your wings and go. I'm here if you need me, but I want to see you soar. And that's where feel hypnosis comes in great at, is being able to do that.

And now I still believe in traditional therapy. I still think it's important. still think that, especially for more, if there's more of emotional baggage or trauma, that's where traditional psychotherapy can really be of immense value too. In addition, so, you know, I don't, I mean, obviously there are certain limitations when hypnosis can treat and can work with. I mean, first of all, I don't want to see treat because we don't treat anybody.

We coach, we empower, but treating kind of signifies a medical connotation and we don't do that. We help, we manage, we help you manage. And sometimes depending on the condition or the issue that you're seeking help with, we like to do that in conjunction with a doctor, a physician.

Like for example, if comes because, know, hypnosis is great for working with chronic pain. Well, if I'm going to work with someone who has chronic pain, I want to be really safe to know that they're under a doctor's care. Because in reality, pain is a signal to the brain, to the body, that something is wrong. So if you're not getting a treat looked at by a doctor, I don't would know if...

if really this pain is meant for you to get checked out or to look at something or a warning sign. ⁓

Julie Hilsen (23:14)
Mm-hmm. Warning that

they might need a, that might be a critical medical condition that needs, that needs acute care. Yeah, that makes sense.

Albert (23:19)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, and this

is just an extreme, I mean, not to get too extreme with morbidity, but let's say somebody has chronic headaches. Now I want to make sure that it could be stress, it could be tension, it could be that, but it could also be a brain bleed, a tumor. You I want to make sure that that is ruled out beforehand because we're not medical doctors. We don't do that. So

There's a scope of practice that we need to abide by and adhere to. you know, we very much at this case are going to want a doctor's endorsement and signing off on that because, you know, or any other type of issue, even if it's deep-seated emotional issue, they still need therapy in addition to hypnotherapy and coaching. you know, especially if there's like years of trauma or abuse or generational trauma.

you know, that can come in there.

Julie Hilsen (24:15)
So would you know pretty quickly if that person had generational? Because I know sometimes people try to say, didn't affect me and I'm fine. You know, like, it's all good.

Albert (24:26)
Well, yeah,

Yeah, I mean people, you know generational trauma. think it's kind of a newer Discovery that we've been finding it's in the past five five to ten years, but it it kind of makes sense because You know when we're trauma we experience a trauma let's say firsthand and we don't it starts becoming in baked in a neurology and You know it wrapped up in our neurology which then if we would say

you know, again, we pass on their genes to the next generation. Well, what happens that that neurology is encoded into their gene. And then as we go to their, you know, the next generation gene, so we could be still dealing with our, you know, residual effects of like a grand parents or a great grandparents trauma. Especially if they, at that time, you know, in those generations, you know, therapy wasn't that

widely available or

Julie Hilsen (25:23)
or even safe. I mean, look at what

they used to do with lobotomies and the shock treatment. I mean, I'm not saying that shock treatment is completely bad, but just applying impulses to the brain wantonly, that's dangerous. But if you know there's an area, there's a process. But it was barbaric what they used to do to people. And I wouldn't.

Albert (25:29)
Yeah.

Yeah, well.

Yeah.

Yeah, and plus, you know, even just the therapy protocol

now, like, electroshock therapy in 2025 is much different than what we in the 1940s and 50s, and much more safer in protocol. like I said, there are some benefits if it's severe cases, but only severe cases. And of course, you have to get testing beforehand to make sure that you have no underlying harder neurological conditions that would prevent you from doing that because

Julie Hilsen (25:56)
It's much different, right?

Right. Yeah.

Albert (26:17)
So, but yeah, it's, it's, you know, so a lot of times, you know, especially I'd say prior to Gen, even part of a Gen X generation is just, you know, we were taught to kind of just tough it out and, you know, you know, no pain, no gain, especially if you were a male, you know, if you were a male, especially in most traditional, yeah, no, you, you, had to be a man to it out, you know, and

Julie Hilsen (26:30)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, be

a man, yeah, suck it up, yep, totally.

Albert (26:45)
Tuck it up, be a man

and don't cry, don't be sissy. trauma affects both males and females the same way.

Julie Hilsen (26:55)
Yeah,

well, I've had a few guests have talked about that males actually have higher highs and lower lows with trauma. So it's more important for a male to express this because physiologically they're having a different experience. It's more intense both ways. and it's really interesting how this has come about, how we're learning how emotionally powerful

Albert (27:09)
Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen (27:22)
all genders are and you know, we can't put anyone in a box and yeah.

Albert (27:25)
Of course,

that's, but that just goes to show, you know, and then again, if we don't resolve the trauma, because sometimes it may be temporarily easier to just put it in a box, a lid on it and say, okay, I'm just going to worry about that. I'm going to move forward and not be concerned about what the future is going to hold. Let me just bury this and, know, no pain, no gain, you know, and that sort of philosophy.

Therefore it's gonna come up another way. This is why especially for men we see a high rate of substance abuse alcoholism aggression and those can all be symptoms or masks for depression sadness feeling inadequate and It's at that for most men. It's socially unacceptable to You know say talk about their feelings

Julie Hilsen (27:59)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, to be honest, I don't feel like I can deal with this. And once you say that, you're like, huh, I just admitted that I don't feel like I can deal with this. And all of a sudden you have space to deal with it. But until you get that out, it's like this boulder on your soul. And I was gonna ask you, this came up when you were talking, okay, so here's a metaphor. When we have a, phone doesn't work right, our computer doesn't work right.

Albert (28:17)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Julie Hilsen (28:41)
Any electronic, any kind of circuitry that doesn't work right, we turn it off and we turn it back on. And 99.9 % of the time that machine works better. The connections get cleared. so I'm just wondering, do you think there's some kind of parallel between hypnosis and like a reset of our neurology? Or what do you think is the closest thing to powering down as a person?

Albert (29:04)
Yeah, I mean, mean.

Exactly.

Well, that's where neuro-linguistic programming was started in the 1970s and it was based, they kind of based it on computer work. the founders of that were very much into science and math and all of that. And I think this is why it was such a radical approach because it looked at it from a computer programming standpoint, the mind. And that was like, well, controversial. How could you compare the computer to the mind? It's very similar, actually.

Now, of course, it's much more powerful than just a simple one-two reset, but there are lot of rapid approaches that can actually reset you. What we're starting to find out is, yeah, we can change the past. We can't change what happened to you. But what we can change is your perception of that. So, in other words, let's say you've been abused or you suffered a trauma in the past.

We can't change that event. That event has happened and that event is over. But we can change this where you can look at it, instead of being every time you look at it or examine it get a sign from it, most people who are wrapped in a trauma are going to get a visceral reaction, they're back there again. Whereas now, if we kind of rewire that or reboot, as you say, now you can just look at that trauma and look at it like as a matter of fact of what you ate for breakfast last week.

you know, does that nonchalantly, like, yeah, this happened to me, but, you know, I don't blame him. And also, especially if it's like abuse or other types of trauma, know, sexual assault or abuse, there's often a lot of self-blame there, too, that's associated with that trauma. So part of that is, you know, obviously, forgiveness to the perpetrator.

And also what's very important after you forgive whoever wronged you, forgiving yourself is the next thing that is so important to do. And most people forget that. You need to forgive yourself. And I want to make one thing very clear because lot of people, some people get a little confused. When I say forgiveness, I don't necessarily mean that you accept what the person did. don't mean... It's not okay. It's not okay.

Julie Hilsen (31:20)
Right, you're not saying it's okay, yeah. It's not

okay.

Albert (31:24)
What they

did. What they did was not okay and that also doesn't mean that you have to have any contact with that person ever again. Forgiveness just means that you take the emotional charge out of it. Because when you hold up the anger and resentment, what you're really doing is hurting yourself. It's like that famous expression when you have hold on to resentment, it's like taking poison yourself and expecting the other person to get hurt by that. They're not. You're the only one that's gonna get hurt.

So this is where forgiveness comes in. It's not about the other person, it's about you. And, you know, I know people who, you know, will have no contact with their biological power who might have been an abuser, but they forgive them, but they still, you know, they chose not to any contact. And that's perfectly fine, you know, I think. And that aspect, it goes through that trial.

Julie Hilsen (32:17)
Right, right. And it's a form of boundaries and self-care. And maybe they could look at, I just wanted to feel connected and loved, but that person didn't know how to do it. And that's okay. I'm gonna look for connection and love with somebody who earned to deserves it. You know, look at them motivating.

Albert (32:21)
Yeah.

you

Yes. And also, I'm gonna...

Yeah, you look at the motivating factor. It's like they did the best of what they could. They didn't have their best upbringing themselves. Most likely, there was intergenerational abuse, another reason why we gotta look at generational trauma. So, but the also thing we wanna do is build up the love within yourself. So that, yeah, maybe we didn't get the love from this parent, because your parent, they know at all.

Julie Hilsen (32:46)
Okay.

Albert (33:04)
You know, they didn't know how to, but we can now love ourselves. And then if we choose to become parents ourselves, we now know how to love our children.

Julie Hilsen (33:04)
Right, they just didn't know. Yeah.

Yeah, and it's, I say it's you're jumping a timeline. You're shifting because you could have stayed and the hurt and the victimhood, but now you're choosing this timeline of empowerment, of change and restitution. mean, how amazing would that be to correct an ancestral trauma and that's no longer part of the field?

Albert (33:27)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's like with you the buck stops here and that's whole purpose of it. That's a great place to be. This may have been a pattern for two or three generations, but now it stops here with me. It takes work and part of when you do this type of work, one thing to be prepared for is it may not always be pleasant. It's not always going to feel good at the time.

Julie Hilsen (34:03)
Hmm.

Albert (34:05)
But it's going to be very important to do.

Julie Hilsen (34:07)
It takes a lot of bravery and vulnerability and rawness. But magic on the other side, like, whoo!

Albert (34:15)
Thank you.

Julie Hilsen (34:17)
So what do you, when you're working with people or your experience, what are the biggest fears or self-doubt that you, the trends that you see? And maybe if someone's like, well, I don't even know where to start. Like where would you start with somebody who is just a blank, know, sort of blank and they don't, they're so low, they don't even know where to start.

Albert (34:32)
you

Well, I think the first thing is just to be honest with yourself and you know know that that there's you know, some work that needs to be done because a lot of people are walking around Not realizing that they you know had this trauma or not really that they are have been affected So I think the first step is to celebrate the fact and be kind to yourself that you forgive this you realize this if this is happening so that's the first step is like

Okay, first celebrate that victory that you realize that there's... you come to the insight that there is this issue that needs to be dealt with. Then you seek out whatever it is, a therapist, a coach that can help you start to process this and then start to help you reframe, you know, the past or what we call rewriting the timeline to a degree where at least...

you're writing that internal script of you're a survivor, you're not a victim, you're a survivor, you're a champion. And now, once they do that, the next step is like, think of how much you can help other people.

Yeah, how great that, you know, again, it doesn't, it doesn't seem like that, but it's like, how great was it that you went through this? Because now you can help so many other people.

Julie Hilsen (35:56)
Right. And I, you know, it's like, did you, did you suffer with self doubt at all? But it seems like you dove into academics and maybe you like the affirmation of grades and you know, that kind of, and I know that's why I like school. got, I got my master's in speech pathology and I always love taking a test. I was like, I'm just going to show and you get a grade and you know that you did a good job, but real life you don't get grades anymore and you don't get that.

Albert (36:10)
Mm hmm.

No,

Julie Hilsen (36:25)
That affirmation.

Albert (36:26)
there's no grades, there's no, you know, no grade report at the end. Well, I mean, even myself, I mean, I've dealt with my own self doubt for years, you know, and, you know, and it's always, and I think the one thing that's universal is we all go through it. We'll have our moments and, you know, it's a lifelong process, you know, like, where you just have to constantly work at it and realize that again, sometimes our inner critic is

not always correct, not always valid. It's just, it's there to protect us. And it's designed to help us survive and help us live and does a great job at doing that. But sometimes it can work in overdrive and sometimes it can work incorrectly, but it's still there to do that. So the important thing again is to realize that, okay, this fear that I'm feeling for this self-doubt,

I know it's gonna help me, but let's figure out other ways that it can help.

Julie Hilsen (37:24)
Mm-hmm, identify. And then how would you, you you take the jump. You're like, okay, I'm doing this. I got over my self-doubt. I got over my ego telling me that I'm not good enough. And then you're in the situation and you're getting this, you know, tension. You maybe got the gig or whatever. You're in it. And then all of sudden you're like, imposter syndrome. What am I doing here? Like, I don't deserve this. I'm just, I'm just.

Albert (37:47)
Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen (37:52)
I'm just here and this isn't really me. How do you help people own that? Yes, you are exactly where you're supposed to be. How do you get to that?

Albert (38:01)
Yeah

Well, I think that you what you're exactly where it's supposed to be when First of all, you realize that this is not your thoughts may not be necessary, you know based on reality that it might be fear talking to you or hesitation so That would be the first thing I would definitely say to really come to their realization that You know fear is not

It's false evidence appearing real. That's what fear stands for if you think about it. So, to realize that this may be false, what I'm thinking, most likely is, you know, on some level. And let's deal with, you know, this first thing. This is just really fear talking. This is not reality talking. And now let's move past that. Again, you know, we were saying this even before we recorded it.

Julie Hilsen (38:30)
I love that.

Albert (38:51)
how lot of times our imagined worst case scenario, and we're great at that. We are great at like, you know, looking at viewing ourselves as failing magnificently.

Julie Hilsen (39:04)
Yeah.

Albert (39:04)
You know, like it's going to be this

grand, you know, gesture, you know, worldwide, you know, gesture that we're going to fail and fail spectacularly. But even if we, if it doesn't go our way, you know, to situate, we try an idea, we try to do something and it doesn't exactly go as planned. It's still never as bad as we imagined it to be. It's never as severe as we imagined it to be. Cause again, we're great at imagining these grand gestures of failing.

Julie Hilsen (39:33)
I know it's always interesting because the human psyche seems to think that we're the center of everything and everyone's looking at you, everyone sees you stumble, everyone, no, people are not paying attention. They don't notice there's a booger hanging off the end of your nose. don't, you know, unless it's a huge piece of cilantro, they're not going to notice anything in your teeth and nobody really cares.

Albert (39:43)
Yeah, and-

Yeah, and most of the time I'm

Yeah. Well, that's

liberating. know that may sound harsh for some people, but that's really liberating. Nobody cares. I lose, you know, talk a lot in my classes. I don't really have my students do speeches, but they often talk about their graduate presentations. And I often refer to them like, nobody cares what you're saying up there. Maybe the professor is there evaluating you, but that's about it. Because the other students, they're not.

They're either worried about what they're about to go next or they're relieved that they went over, they're beating themselves up over things they said in their own presentation. I don't have a peg attached to these.

Julie Hilsen (40:32)
Yeah.

And I found through, you know, I'm 52 years old and I've done some public speaking and I've put myself out there. And to me, my best experiences is when I was just in a good energy state. It didn't even matter what I said or did. It was the energy that was coming off of me.

Albert (40:50)
Mm-hmm. And it's all about

the energy, too, that you give off. And what I often like to say, especially with actors, the stage fright is a real thing, you know, that I say, well, let's look at the physiological signs of stage fright, the butterflies in your stomach, the, you know, the heart beating faster. Sometimes you're a little bit of your hands sweating. But at the same time, those are the same markers of excitement.

Julie Hilsen (40:59)
Mm-hmm.

Your hand sweating.

Yes.

Albert (41:20)
So instead of like mentally, because that's where it comes in, or because we start to experience mentally, we go, I'm nervous. is it. I know it's going to go bad. But what if we change it to, I'm excited to go out there now. I'm excited to showcase my thing. Because any time you go into an unknown situation, especially with the stage you've never been on, it's common to experience. So I remember reading this in the public, you know, when I took public speaking back in the late 90s.

that even the first chapter, the first intro, first chapter was if you think that public speaking classes are going to help you rid completely of your fear, that's not going to happen. You know, that's because even the most established speakers get a little worked up before they get on stage. So.

Julie Hilsen (42:13)
Yeah, why

do you think I my intention before I start my podcast? Like I have to ask the divinity. I'm like, I just gotta just embrace where I am, be present and you know, that's how I feel at this age, right? Yeah.

Albert (42:16)
Yeah.

Yeah, and that's where it's like, let's use it

to help us do better. Because when we start looking at the excitement, the adrenaline kicks in and now we're doing it better than we could have because now instead of holding us back, actually adds fuel to our presentation. So let's use that.

Julie Hilsen (42:34)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and also

athletes can use that. I know my kids both play competitive tennis and someone told them that too. like, it's the same, nervousness is the same as excitement. So it goes, anything that you really wanna do well, you're excited about.

Albert (42:56)
Yes.

Right. Absolutely.

Julie Hilsen (42:58)
Like my friend Rebecca Marcus, she she clears it out. She's like, I'm excited.

Albert (43:03)
Yeah, that clearing motion.

Coincidentally, is why energy work and Reiki is so powerful because it is coming out. We are energy. A lot of people are skeptical, at least in my environment, where you hear energy work and they're like, I'm like, well, do ever walk into a room with somebody who's negative and you just want to walk right back out? I'm like, what do think that's caused that feeling?

The energy, the aura, you know, that... They didn't say anything, they just walked in and said, well then you just feel that. I gotta get out of here. You know, why do you think you feel that way? Because it's the energy in the room.

Julie Hilsen (43:39)
Well, you've given my audience lots to think about and action steps. mean, this kind of work is worth it. And I can raise my hand and say, yes, I mean, I've done past life regressions. I've had coaches. I've been rejected by coaches. I had a coach drop me. Can you believe the kind of, I had such shame about my coach dropping me. And she didn't even tell me, she just,

Albert (43:49)
Cheers.

Julie Hilsen (44:08)
stopped contacting me. And I had to deal with that, you know what I mean? Like, and I had to really say, what is this about? And I figured it out. And it's okay, like I forgive her. But yes, it was very unprofessional. I prepaid and just like, and I was like, I texted her, said, I've really learned a lot about discernment. Thank you.

Albert (44:11)
Yeah, that's a little unprofessional the unprofessional side.

Yeah, no,

and that's because a lot of times, you know, I think what's very important if we're going to look to a coach that they've got to work their own, you know, baggage too, because, know, I mean, there's a lot of fantastic coaches out there, but also the reality is it's not it's not a regulated business. So, you know.

Julie Hilsen (44:43)
Yeah.

Right. Yeah. And

I didn't mean negative about coaches. I was just saying, I've walked the walk I've done. Like, I know where you're coming from and in this kind of work, it's worth it. Yeah.

Albert (44:57)
Yeah. I totally get it. You

I've had strategy calls with some coaches and I'm like, hang on a moment. That was off. Something was off there. Because you're investing not only just money, but your time, your energy, your focus. you know, it's something you can't get back. So it's good to shop around.

Julie Hilsen (45:10)
You have to use discernment, right? So people like, yeah.

Right.

Albert (45:25)
You know, and not to accept the first one. mean, and one of the things I often talk a lot about is the ability to say no. know, the ability to say no and walk away without feeling guilty. You know, being guilt-free by saying no. Learning to say no. And the same thing with like actors accepting roles. It's okay sometimes to say no. Because you have to protect your own integrity at the end of the day.

Julie Hilsen (45:33)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I can tell you and we're getting short on our time right now, but I was listening to Tom Selleck's memoir and what a beautiful memoir and he did. That was one thing consistent through his career was his integrity. even, mean, he was offered the Indiana Jones position before Harrison Ford, but he already had a commitment. He had the Hawaii commitment ⁓ and couldn't do it.

Albert (45:56)
Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Yeah. ⁓

Julie Hilsen (46:19)
And he, in their certain roles, he's like, I don't identify with this role. And he didn't do it, but it would have been good money when he needed the money. I...

Albert (46:26)
Oh yeah,

and it could have been more financially lucrative than Hawaii, but it was his integrity, it was his interest. at the end of the day, that's what's going to make you more fulfilled when you live your life with integrity and whole to your integrity.

Julie Hilsen (46:36)
⁓ yeah, in the-

Right, and all the veterans, the Vietnam vets that were felt isolated and unseen, and he illuminated a small part of the mental trauma that these soldiers go through and their families go through. And he was recognized for that. So it always works out when you follow your heart. that's really a big...

Albert (47:05)
Mm-hmm.

Julie Hilsen (47:10)
message here for life of love and so I love to celebrate that.

Albert (47:14)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Sure, well, can definitely go to my website, albertbramonti.com, and you can also find me on all the socials, medias. have Instagram, LinkedIn, so feel free to reach out to me, and I'd be happy to...

You know, chat with you. also encourage you to check out my book, Rise Over the Script. It's on Amazon and also Audible, so check that out.

Julie Hilsen (47:38)
Nice. that's great. I'm so happy you're contributing that and celebrating that too. this has been such a delight. Thank you, Albert.

Albert (47:45)
Well,

thank you, Julie, for having me on here.